That Master, Tired
by Aynaa
Summary: After a restless night Ciel struggles to keep up with his schedule while dealing with his annoying butler. As the day progresses one question weighs on Ciel's mind more and more: Along with sleep, will the nightmares return? One-shot.


**Hello everyone. This is my first fanfiction ever. I'd like to mention that English is not my first language so there may be mistakes. I apologize for that. Please enjoy! **

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><p><em>Ciel ran. His legs ached but he knew he had to go on. They were close, too close. His pulse was racing not only because of his exhaustion but also due to the presence of the ones chasing him. No matter what, Ciel had to escape from them. Otherwise… <em>

_He didn't want to finish that thought. In his panic he tried to run faster only to stumble over something. Before he fell he could catch himself and moved on. He dared to take a quick glance behind, towards his chasers. What he saw made his heart beat even faster. They were even closer now. Maybe 20 feet behind Ciel a group of a dozen men and women, all dressed in long black robes and wearing white masks, was standing and grinning towards him. They didn't seem to move at all but the faster Ciel tried to run away, the closer they came. Some of them were holding knives others just reached out for him. He could hear their voices, they were calling him. _

"_Where are you running to, little boy?" "Why are you trying to get away?" "You'll never escape from us!" "You have nowhere else to go!"_

_Ciel tried to block out their voices. He couldn't let them catch him. All the pain, the suffering, the humiliation… He wouldn't survive it again. He had to get away!_

_He stumbled again. This time he did fall and now he saw what had blocked his path. It was a body - the bloody corpse of a child not much older than himself. Now Ciel realized that lifeless bodies lay crumbled on the floor_ _everywhere - victims of his chasers. And he would be next! He wanted to get up but the sight of the dead children lying in their blood, a pained expression forever branded into their faces, paralyzed Ciel's body. No matter how much he wanted to he couldn't stand up. Every time he tried his legs gave away. He began to panic. The mask-wearing group had almost reached him. Ciel put all of his effort in another attempt to stand up and this time it worked. But before he could take a step a hand gripped his arm. Ciel screamed when he saw that one of his haunters had reached him. The man held him in an iron grip and through his mask Ciel could see him grinning. Suddenly the boy was surrounded by the others. There was no escape. Ciel struggled and tried to break free but it was no use. The one holding him was too strong and soon more hands were on his body holding him down. Ciel screamed for them to stop, pleaded for help but they were only laughing at him…_

Ciel awoke with a start. He was panting heavily, his nightshirt was wet from sweating and his pulse was pounding. The bed sheets were tangled around him. Slowly the young Earl recognized his surroundings. He could make out the outlines of his bed and the furniture of his chamber. _It was only a dream, only a horrible nightmare! It's over now! I'm safe!_ He tried to steady his breathing in order to calm down.

It was in nights like these when Ciel truly felt like the thirteen-year-old that he was, not the proud Earl of Phantomhive, the title he earned since these fateful events three years ago. When the nightmares of his captivity and his abductors returned, he felt alone and helpless. "_You'll never escape from us!"_ The words spoken in his dream echoed in his head. _But I did escape!_ Ciel told himself trying to regain his strength. _I'm not weak! _But despite his attempts, the memory of what happened – refreshed because of the nightmare – made him tremble. He considered for a moment calling his butler but dismissed that thought at once. _No need to let Sebastian see me like this._ What good would he do in a situation like this, anyway? He'd probably laugh at the weakness the young Earl was showing. _Ha! Just the thought of letting myself be comforted by a demon is ridiculous!_

Ciel's heartbeat was beginning to calm down a bit. He rearranged his sheets and lay down again. But he knew it would be difficult for him to get more sleep tonight. As soon as he closed his eyes pictures of the masked men and women came back to haunt him and every time he was close to falling asleep he felt being held by multiple hands, pushing him down and suffocating him, so that he jolted again from his lying position. This was going to be a long night again…

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><p>Ciel could hear the manor awaken. Somewhere on the ground floor something shattered. <em>Probably Mey-Rin,<em> Ciel speculated. Soon enough Sebastian would come to wake him. As predicted, Ciel hadn't been able to fall asleep again after his dream. Therefore he was now extremely tired and felt exhausted. But there was no way he would let his butler see that. _I won't give him yet another reason to mock me_, he thought grimly. So he pulled the blanket over his body and pretended to be asleep just as a soft knocking on the door could be heard, followed by the velvet voice of his butler. "Good morning, young master." Sebastian entered and opened the curtains of the windows letting the morning sun shine upon the teen. "It is rare to see you already awake, my lord!"

Ciel could already hear the smirk in his voice as he said that. So much for fooling Sebastian. Since pretending to be asleep had proven to be useless, he opened his eyes and sat up. His butler gave him a cup of tea and Ciel drank it quickly hoping it would drive away his fatigue. Nevertheless he couldn't suppress a yawn. Upon seeing this Sebastian's grin widened even more. "Have you slept well, my lord?" he teased. He knew! The Earl was sure of that. Sebastian always knew when he had nightmares but he wouldn't do him the favor to show weakness in front of the demon.

"Yes, I did!" Ciel lied. "Now get me dressed, I want to have breakfast!"

"As you wish!" Sebastian didn't press the matter any further even though he saw the dark shadows under his master's eyes. Smirking he took the empty cup out of the Earl's hands and began dressing him.

"What's my schedule for today?" Ciel asked.

"Well, after breakfast there are some letters to be answered." Sebastian began while tying Ciel's eye patch. "At eleven, Mr. Bright from the Funtom's merchandise branch is coming to discuss some new products with you. After lunch you have a violin lesson with Mrs. Keane. And in the afternoon you had planned to search for a birthday present for the upcoming birthday of Lady Elizabeth."

"Hmm… right, I remember." Once again a yawn was inevitable. This time it was not only because of his lack of sleep.

"If you are too tired, I could clear your schedule for today." Sebastian suggested still grinning.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ciel snapped. "I'm not tired."

"If you say so. Breakfast is ready in the dining room. I will await you there, my lord." With that Sebastian bowed and left the room.

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><p>The morning passed off surprisingly well. Despite Ciel's lack of sleep he managed to get all paperwork done and endure the meeting with Mr. Bright. It was only after lunch when the effects of the restless night emerged to full extent. During the violin lesson Ciel got more and more tired. He tried to concentrate on the notes he was supposed to play but they blurred in front of his eyes. After several attempts he gave up and sent his tutor, Mrs. Keane, away.<p>

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><p><em>Knock, knock…<em>

Ciel was sitting in his study, his head resting on the table in front of him. His eyelids were heavy and a letter he had planned to read hadn't even been opened yet. Maybe a short nap wouldn't be so bad after all.

_Knock, knock…_

His eyes closed and he felt himself drifting into a slight slumber.

"Young master?"

Ciel's head shot up just as Sebastian opened the door and peeked inside. "Excuse my intrusion but you haven't answered my knocking. I've brought your tea." Without waiting for an answer Sebastian came into the room with a tea cart. "For today's afternoon tea I have prepared a blueberry cake along with a Ceylon tea."

Ciel gave a mumbling response while hiding his face behind some quickly grabbed papers in hopes of hiding his messed-up appearance. But the promise of cake lifted his mood at least a little.

"I've made the tea stronger than usual seeing as the young master is barely able to keep himself awake." The demon grinned while pouring a cup of tea and Ciel's temper was worsening again. Ciel hated showing weakness – and nearly falling asleep during work because of childish nightmares that kept him awake all night definitely counted as a weakness – in front of anyone but especially in front of Sebastian, his devilish butler who seemed to enjoy his master's discomfort to no end and always managed to find the exact words to annoy the boy even further. Of course this time was no different.

"Mrs. Keane left rather early today! Based on her facial expression I suppose the reason for her early departure wasn't due to the young master's progress in playing the violin?"

Ciel lowered the papers and glared at his butler. "I didn't feel like playing today, that's all." He tried to sound indifferent but the irritation he felt was clearly noticeable.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Well, if you had told me I could have postponed your lesson. Although I must say, skipping lessons because one doesn't feel like it could be considered very childish, wouldn't you agree, my lord?"

The young Earl slammed the papers on his desk. He really didn't have the patience to deal with that annoying demon today. "Why do you even care?" he burst out. "I do as I please and that's none of your damn business! Don't you have work to do?" _Stupid demon, how dare he call me childish!_

Sebastian was just standing there calmly, showing his usual grin which aggravated Ciel even more. "As your butler it is my duty to ensure my young master's education and…"

"Oh shut up!" Ciel interrupted. The urge to throw something at his butler was getting stronger every second. But the only suitable objects for that purpose in his reach were the cup and the plate standing in front of him and using one of them would mean to either give up on the tea or on the cake. Besides, knowing Sebastian, it surely wouldn't do any damage at all and would probably lead to another comment about this 'unsuitable behavior for an Earl'. So Ciel tried to ignore Sebastian's teasing and sent him away in order to enjoy his cake alone.

Sebastian bowed. "Then I will take my leave. I'll prepare the carriage while you have your afternoon tea." He was about to exit when Ciel held him back.

"The carriage? What for?"

"Has the young master forgotten already? Lady Elizabeth's birthday is in three days and you wanted to buy her a present. If you plan on arriving in London before all stores are closed we should be leaving soon, unless of course you don't feel like going to London as well."

For a moment Ciel truly thought about telling his butler that he was too tired to concern himself with such a boring task but he had postponed it already quite a few times and Elizabeth's birthday was indeed very soon. _Not to imagine how she would react if I don't have a present for her. _Moreover, if he told Sebastian he would admit defeat and that was unthinkable.

"All right." Ciel sighed. "Then prepare everything. I'll be down in five minutes."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian bowed again and left.

As soon as the door was closed Ciel yawned. He didn't want to go to London at all. He cursed himself for delaying the inevitable every day until now when it definitely had to be done. And today of all days he felt as if he would fall asleep anytime even without doing something as boring as to look for a present. Even worse, he didn't have the slightest idea what to get for his fiancée. Last year he had given her a special made Funtom's bitter rabbit which she loved. But this year he couldn't rely on his company's toys again.

Ciel finished the cake and drank the rest of the tea quickly hoping what Sebastian had said was true and that the tea would wake him up a little. _The sooner I leave the sooner I will return. I hope I can find a suitable gift quickly._

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><p>Sebastian awaited his master in the entrance hall of the manor. After dressing him in a cloak and giving him hat and walking stick they left. Ciel entered the carriage but as Sebastian was about to climb in as well Ciel held him back.<p>

"You'll be riding up front. Tanaka can stay at the manor."

Before Sebastian could question his order Ciel slammed the door of the carriage. After his butler's teasing in his office Ciel preferred to be alone while they would drive to London. Maybe he could even take a short nap.

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><p><em>All Ciel could see was fire. He was standing in his room but where furniture had used to be flames were now eating everything. They were closing in on the young boy. Full of panic Ciel ran in the direction where he knew the door was. Somehow he managed to escape the room but the rest of the manor was set ablaze as well. "Mother… Father…!" Ciel screamed and hurried to his parents' room. The flames seemed to follow him but never touched him. He could feel the heat but he needed to get to his parents. When he entered their bedroom Ciel froze in terror. In the midst of flames lay the corpses of his parents covered in blood and already beginning to burn due to the fire. Ciel could smell the stench of burned flesh. Unable to move he just stood there watching in horror as the flames consumed his parents completely and surrounded him as well. They were getting closer. Then they had reached the trembling boy. When the first flame came in contact with him he felt not the heat but a hand grabbing his shoulder. This was when he screamed…<em>

"Aaaaaahhhhhhhh…"

Ciel jumped awake and widened his eyes terrified. _Where am I?_ Although he didn't dream anymore he could still sense the horrible stench of fire and death in his nose and there still was a grip on his shoulder. Full of panic he thrashed around. "Don't touch me!"

"Young master." A voice…

"Snap out of it. You were dreaming." He knew that voice…

Only now Ciel slowly recognized his surroundings. He was sitting in his carriage, red eyes right in front of him showing a worried expression.

"Se…bas…tian…?"

"Yes, it is me, your butler. Are you alright now?"

Ciel didn't answer. He tried to compose himself and collect his thoughts. They had been driving to London… to buy a present for Elizabeth… He had been tired all day… He must have fallen asleep. "What happened?"

Sebastian – seeing that his young charge was feeling a little better – changed his crouched position in front of Ciel and sat down on the opposite site facing him. "You fell asleep during our trip to London. When we arrived at our destination I opened the door to the carriage and found you tossing and turning. So I decided to wake you up. You didn't react to my calling so I proceeded to shake you awake. I apologize since that seems to have unsettled you even more but I thought it best to wake you up quickly especially when your screaming might have attracted unwanted attention of the people on the street."

Ciel's eyes widened.

"Don't worry, my lord." Sebastian smiled lightly. "No one has noticed anything. I've made sure of that." His expression became serious again. "This nightmare of yours seemed rather intense. If it's not too presumptuous may I ask what you have dreamed about?"

Ciel hesitated. Should he tell the demon about the dreams that plagued him? Maybe it would help to talk about it but on the other hand…

"I don't want to think about that at the moment."

As Sebastian was about to protest he added "We can talk once we're back at the manor. Now let's buy a present for Elizabeth. I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Are you sure? We could return to the mansion if you don't feel well."

"No. We're already here. Might as well do what we came here for in the first place."

"Very well then." Sebastian stood up and exited the carriage to help his master out, once again showing his amused smile. "What did you have in mind to get her?" Ciel only sighed as he got out of the carriage.

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><p>After what felt like hours Ciel finally slumped down into the armchair in his library. He was absolutely exhausted. Searching for a present without the slightest idea what to look out for had taken a lot more time than he had anticipated. In the end he had followed his sweet tooth and had bought a selection of the finest pralines his favorite chocolatier had to offer. Each one of them was shaped like an animal so hopefully Elizabeth would find this eatable art cute and be pleased with that. Of course Ciel had used the opportunity to buy some chocolate for himself as well. He could care less about the form of the pralines but the taste was really good and Sebastian's shocked expression as Ciel had tasted one of the cat-shaped chocolates had convinced him to buy the selection.<p>

When they had reached the carriage to drive home Sebastian unwillingly had left the pralines with Ciel, reminding him that if he ate them now he'd spoil his appetite for dinner. And sure enough when they had arrived at the manor Ciel had already eaten a good third of his chocolates. Ignoring his butler's disapproving glance he had gone straight to the library where he was sitting now.

The sun was already setting and Ciel was extremely tired. Now that he was sitting here he felt as if his eyes might close anytime. But he didn't want to fall asleep now. If he was being honest to himself he feared that the nightmares would return. Moreover, Sebastian would come any minute now and he didn't want his butler to find him yet again while being caught in a dream, completely out of self-control…

As predicted, a moment later a knock interrupted the Earl's thoughts.

"Enter!"

The door opened and Sebastian was standing there.

"Young master, dinner's ready."

Ciel stood up and followed his butler to the dining room.

"I suppose you're not very hungry, therefore I've made a light risotto. Furthermore I think it's best to skip dessert for today."

Normally Ciel would have protested at once but he was too exhausted to argue with Sebastian and his craving for sweets was already stilled for today anyway. So he just nodded and took a few bites before he pushed his plate aside.

"Oh? You're already full?" Sebastian smirked while clearing the table. "I told you not to eat those sweets. How very childish…"

He regarded Ciel expecting a harsh reply. But there was none, not even a little reaction. Sebastian's smile vanished. "You're extremely quiet today, my Lord. I think you should retire early. Lack of sleep is not good for your health."

"Alright. Let's go." Ciel yawned.

The notion of sleep was both wonderful and horrible. Ciel really longed for the rest and relaxation sleep would offer. But at the same time he was frightened of the nightmares. Why did his past have to haunt him so often when he closed his eyes? He hated reliving all these horrors he had endured…

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he just now realized that they were already in his bedroom. During the bath and while Sebastian dressed him in his nightshirt the boy was silent. As he was undoing Ciel's eye patch Sebastian interrupted the silence.

"My lord, earlier today you said you would tell me about your dreams."

Ciel's mismatched eyes met the demon's gaze. This time he couldn't find a sign of mockery or amusement in the red eyes. But still… "You would only laugh."

"I promise I won't." When Ciel still looked skeptical he added "You know I never lie. Please tell me what's bothering you. As your butler it is my duty to ensure my master's well-being."

"There's no point in telling you. You can't do anything about it anyway."

"Sometimes talking about one's worries can help to ease them."

Ciel averted his eyes. He climbed in his bed and leaned against the headboard. "Alright, I'll tell you…"

And so he did. He told him about the masked people who had chased him, about the fire that had burned down the mansion, his dead parents and the feeling of helplessness when he had these nightmares. However, he didn't tell Sebastian that sometimes, like today, he even feared to go to sleep, but Sebastian was able to conclude that for himself.

Sebastian was silent the whole time Ciel explained the content of his nightly terrors and, although he would never admit it, Ciel was thankful for that. It really was good to talk about it and when he finished he felt as if a heavy burden which had been built for a very long time slowly began to lift off his shoulders. But he still was unsure of how Sebastian would react. Surely the demon wouldn't understand how Ciel felt, right? "Well, that's it. I know it's stupid…"

"That's not stupid at all." Surprised, Ciel looked up as Sebastian continued. "Everyone has nightmares once in a while. And considering everything you've gone through at a very young age it is absolutely normal to have them. Dreams are the humans' way to process events and emotions one undergoes during the day. And nightmares help your mind to deal with your fears and negative experiences. It's not a sign of weakness. If anything, it's making you stronger." Sebastian kneeled down beside the bed and looked in Ciel's eyes. "But always remember: They are just dreams. It's not real. You know that I would never allow anyone to harm you. I'll protect you until the end."

That's right. Ciel was strong now. As long as the contract existed Sebastian would follow him everywhere, protect him and destroy his enemies. He was aware of the irony that it was a demon of all creatures that he trusted the most. He knew that one day those eyes would change from concerned to hungry, that one day those hands would no longer prepare his meals, dress him or defend him but instead kill him. One day the mask would fall off and the perfect butler Sebastian would be replaced by a ravenous demon. But today Ciel was comforted by his words.

"I will get you warm milk with honey. It will help you falling asleep." Sebastian stood up. "I'll be right back."

When Sebastian returned only moments later with a cup of milk on a tray he found Ciel already fast asleep in his bed. He grinned. "Good night, my Lord."

And for once, Ciel wasn't disturbed by nightmares.


End file.
